Zara sat on the cushioned bench, despondently gazing into the embers of the fire she had nearly let go out. There was a rattling at the door and Ruaidhri came in, stamping the autumn leaves from his boots. Zara looked up, startled. He looked at her, then at the dying fire. 'What lass, no dinner again? And it's almost as cold in here as it is out there!' Zara looked mortified. 'Oh Rua, I'm so sorry! I just lost track of the time!' The dwarf looked at her pale, drawn face. 'Aye, same as the last two weeks! Before that it was sugar in the stew and salt in the pudding, but now theres no dinner at all! What's got into ye lass?' He tried to make a joke of it, but Zara wouldn't look him in the eye. She just ran to put wood on the fire, then filled the cooking pot with fresh water and hung it over the fire. While she chopped up vegetables and threw them into the pot, Rua looked her over carefully. She had become even thinner, her apple cheeks pale and fallen in slightly. Where was the rosy glow she had always had? and her eyes had a red and hollow look to them, as of crying, sleepless nights. Her shoulders were slumped and she had an air of being beaten. The girl looked positively wretched! What a contrast to the strong, confident hobbitgirl of just a few weeks ago! He shook his head and busied himself oiling his boots. No sense in digging after what was wrong, he had tried discreetly to get her to talk about what was troubling her, but she refused all attempts at drawing her out. They ate a silent meal together, Zara picking at her food more than eating it. Afterwards, she went to her room and Rua stretched out in front of the fire. Aah, that was better! He smoked a pipe, pulled from his beer and thought about the work he had got done today.
Later, when Rua had banked the fires in the dining and living rooms and was headed to bed, he thought he heard muffled sobbing from Zara's room. Not wishing to intrude, he just shook his head sadly and continued to his own room. What could be troubling the lass? Surely it wasn't that Bucky she had been hanging around with a few weeks ago? Hadn't seen much of the lad lately as a matter of fact. Had they had a wee falling out perhaps? Rua didn't know and as long as Zara was unwilling to talk, he wouldn't pry. Privacy was privacy after all, a dwarf knew how precious that was! Zara lay in bed, crying and sobbing, trying to mute the sounds with her pillow. She couldn't help it. Much as she tried to stop the tears falling, they were determined to escape. The more she tried to stop them, the harder they seemed to come. And it was all her own fault! How she could have fallen for the tricks of that smoothtalking Bucky Lightfoot was beyond her. As hard as she had tried to keep him at a distance, somehow he had managed to find a chink in the wall around her heart and had crawled and burrowed his way through. She cast her mind back to the day she met him ruefully. She remembered it clearly. He had ridden up, grinning at her, handsome and cocky as a rooster. And then? Then he had tried to kiss her! The cheek of it! She had quickly slapped him, but that only seemed to encourage him, so she had vanished and gone her way again. But then he had found out where she lived, so there was no escaping him! He had seemed to seek her out especially. The thought was flattering she had to admit. But that was how he got to all the girls. How mortifying to realise she was no different!
Then she mulled yet again over the wonderful evening they had had together. It had been such a beautiful night. He had looked so handsome when he came to pick her up from Rua's house. She remembered how he had lied about having got her a present... but had conveniently forgotten it of course. They had walked; no, run; raced even! to Hobbiton. There they had drunk wine at the Ivy Bush and Belmoira had been there, looking ethereal and pale as usual. That was lucky, because Zara was so nervous! She had gulped her wine far too quickly and had become a little tipsy she had to admit. But Bucky had patted her back comfortingly and Belmoira's presence gave her confidence and she became less nervous with more wine. He was attentive and listened well. It had all been such fun. It was clear why all the girlhobbits fell for him. Even she herself wasn't immune! He had proven that to the full. They had gone up to The Hill to watch the stars and the moon and he had kissed her! She had let him. She had enjoyed it and even kissed him back. She felt so ashamed that she had let him go so far with her. It was his clever tricks and cunning lies it was! Tricking her into thinking he cared about her! Telling her how beautiful she was! Even saying he loved her! Poor deluded fool that she was, she was no more to him than any other girlhobbit! And she... she had said she loved him! She winced as she thought of it. Yes, tricks and lies it was! Even making up a story about how he had been banished from the Shire years ago because he had punched the Mayor's son in the nose on her account! It had all sounded so plausible under the influence of the moon and wine. Much more likely it was for fooling around with the Mayor's daughter, if he even had been banished, which she now doubted completely. He was probably bragging about it all to his fellows in Buckland or somewhere right this minute! She winced again. Because he certainly wasn't anywhere near the Shire at the moment, she had asked around discreetly.
She remembered how she felt after their night out together, the joy, the happiness! She was sure he would come to see her the next day. But he didn't. Nor the next day, or the day after that, or all that week or the next. Her heart sank a little further each day there was no word, until it finally dawned on her that she had fallen for the same old tricks she knew he used on every girlhobbit he met. She could have died of shame. Oh, if she ever saw him again, she would put a dagger through his heart, just like he had put one through hers! At least his pain would end quickly! She would see to that... or perhaps she should prolong it a little, cutting here and there, making him bleed, like her heart bled for him! Woe to him if she ever caught him! She would never, ever let anyone take advantage of her like that ever again! Determined to build the wall around her heart even stronger and higher this time, she finally fell into a troubled sleep.
