I was born by a waterfall. Not one of the mighty falls that have the sound of thunder that never ceases and are all steaming spray and tumbled jagged stone at the base. No, this was a gentle fall, perhaps fifteen feet, in a small and gently flowing river. But the pool it formed was perfect for bathing and frolicking as a child, and my father often caught fish near that fall for us to eat.
I lived by that waterfall for a very long time, though there is no way to quantify that time beyond that simplistic statement. There were fourteen families that lived by the little river, and my mother told me that if I followed the river far enough downstream it would flow into the bay they called Cuivienen where the Quendi first awoke.
Before I was born the families that lived by the river had fled from their homes along the shores of Cuivienen. They fled from the dark things sent forth by the evil one Melkor that the Nolder name Morgoth in the great histories. And they fled from the Hunter that came with convincing words and promises of a land of great light and beauty. He led away a great part of the people of Cuivienen on a journey that some would survive, and that I have learned since many turned aside from along the way. But my family and others never set out upon that journey and have been named the Avari, the unwilling who refused the call of the Valar.
There, playing under the waterfall I met my Felthilion, and our young hearts bound themselves to one another and I thought I would never again be alone. And so it seemed to be for a while. For a long while, I suppose, though looking back now the years between seem far longer and for the most part much darker than those woods he and I trod together long ere the sun first peeked over an eastern horizon.
The Lady tells me that after the Quendi first awoke, but before they were finally discovered by the Hunter, the Valar made war against the evil one and eventually took him away to a pit in the West where he was kept for three ages of the world. It was during this time that the Hunter found Cuivienen and my family fled to their new home beside the little river. And it was during this time that I was born and grew to full stature, and found love with my Felthilion. And though I doubt not that the Valar can measure ages of the world to a fineness, wandering under the unchanging stars and the shadows of the great trees it never occurred to any of the people by the river to even attempt to measure the passing of time.
Felthilion was a hunter and a fisherman like my father, I a gatherer of wood and stone for the making of various implements by the artisans. I also found that I could speak to some animals and make myself understood, and that some became my friends and would do my bidding. And I also began to learn the rudiments of controlling some of the elements of nature, fire, lightning, and wind, though those skills did not develop beyond the fundamentals until much later in my life when the need became greater.
Then there came a time when my Felthilion went into the woods alone to hunt but did not return when expected. How long I waited I cannot say, but soon I went to the other people of our community and told them of his failure to return. Search parties were organized and we scoured the woodlands far and wide around our home. Surely he would not have gone farther than our searchers ventured. That is what the elders said, and they all shook their heads and songs of sadness and loss were sung round the fires when the people gathered together, but I would not sing; I could not sing.
I began wandering the woods, my animal friends following me, guarding me, and I called his name over and over, and I wept. Oh how I wept, and through the tears there was always an animal track or a stream to follow for a while as I called my Felthilion’s name, but he never came. And after a time the tears left me and I called him less often for I knew in my heart he would not answer, he was not there. I know now that he awaits me in the halls of Mandos, and I only prey that whatever befell him was swift and painless…
By then I had no real desire to try to find my way back to my parents and the people by the river, and in truth I would have been hard pressed to do so since I had indeed wandered far and aimlessly. But as I had wandered I had seen interesting things, things I began to regret not attending to more closely, having passed them by in my grief. Now I began to attend to those things of interest, bushes and trees of unknown kinds or unusual growth. Rocks and pebbles, the animals that wandered the woods both great and small were all of interest to me. And the water, always I was fascinated by the rivers and creeks and rills I came upon. Perhaps it was from the sound of the little waterfall chuckling and burbling its song that was a near constant in all of my earliest memories.
So began my time of wandering, by far the longest period of my life so far. Always there were new things to see just beyond the next hill, just beyond the next horizon. My wandering simply became a way of life. Sometimes I would walk many miles without stopping. Sometimes I would spend what would amount to a lifetime of Men learning to speak with a tree I heard whispering to itself in a dark glade.
Along the way I also met other of the Quendi. At first, other Avari, but then later I began to meet people of the Teleri who had either forsaken their journey into the West and turned aside, or who simply tarried thinking that they would again take up the journey at some point. All treated me as a lost relative and gave me welcome and we shared what news of the world we had with one another.
I saw many beautiful things in my travels, and I saw things that were twisted and ugly and dangerous, and I learned to fight these things in my own fashion, always with the help of my animal friends, and slowly my abilities to master some of the elements grew.
And then I saw the most wondrous sight of all; following a broad river across a wide delta of reeds full of birds of kinds I had never before seen I came upon the sea! It was the most wonderful and the most spectacular thing I had yet seen, though I had crossed mountain ranges the likes of which no longer exist thanks to the gnawing of wind and rain and the passing of years uncounted. It was always in motion, sometimes gently caressing the shore, other times lashing its verges with a thunder that the mightiest of falls would pale in comparison to as the gales whipped the waters into froth as far as my eyes could see.
I tarried near that place for what was probably a long time, but then my wandering feet began leading me north along the coast, though I do not recall making a decision to turn one way or the other. As it happens though, north was a good choice at that time, and though I walked a great many miles I hardly noticed their passing so enraptured was I with all that I saw. Sea shells of uncounted kinds, birds of sorts I could never have imagined some nigh as tall as I with long reed like legs and equally long snake like necks, and always the cries of the gulls mixed with the voice of the sea.
Eventually, however, I came upon other elves along the sea shore. They told me they were Teleri, people of the third group who left Cuivienen on the long trek to Valinor who had decided in the end to remain in Middle Earth in this place they named Beleriand. They told me also of the stronghold of Eglarest where Cirdan ruled who they called the Shipwright. And they told me of the land of Doriath where Elu Thingol who had of old been Elwe of the Teleri held court as high king of Beleriand.
I wandered long in Beleriand visiting both the Falas and Cirdan’s people and Doriath where I was amazed by the work the elves had done in the caverns of Menegroth and I made many friends in these places and learned much of what had befallen the Teleri during their long journey. And throughout the land I saw many beautiful things, but also many evil and ugly things, for Beleriand lay too close to the lands that had been home to the Evil One, and though he lay in captivity still, a remnant of his minions remained and some wandered into Beleriand from his old strongholds in the north.
There came a time when I was again visiting Menegroth that I met the first of the Naugrim that some now name Dwarves. This was a band who said they came regularly down from their city, Nogrod, in the Erid Luin that bordered Beleriand on the east to trade with Thingol’s Elves. Crystals and jewels cut with marvelous designs, some inlaid with runes, others encrusting implements and weapons seemed to be their specialty. They were friendly toward me, eager to show the skill of their workmanship and tell tales of even more beautiful examples of their craft that decorated their halls.
When they left Menegroth I returned with them to Nogrod and they made me feel welcome, though they were in many ways secretive and would not allow me to visit the workshops where their most skilled artisans plied their craft. I suppose they feared that I would steal their techniques and make their products less attractive to the elves. I tried to explain that I had no knowledge of such crafts and only a general curiosity, but they were steadfast.
Another oddity was the Naugrim’s refusal to teach me their language. Perhaps they believed that even that knowledge would give too great insight into their crafts, I do not know for they simply said that it was forbidden and would speak no more on the subject. Nonetheless, they were generous in their own ways and I spent some time learning their mining crafts, skills that have served me well since as I go about gathering resources to trade, or to supply to friends.
Soon, however, I again felt the wanderlust swelling within me and I bade the Dwarves farewell. My friends among them treated me to a marvelous parting feast, though in honesty I know the Dwarves of Nogrod seldom passed up a feasting opportunity. And they presented me with a lovely golden brow-band set with tiny gems that matched the color of my eyes and scribed with tiny runes in their secret tongue. They told me that the runes were for safety and good fortune. To this day I wear that head-piece often when going into the unknown and it has not yet failed me.
So again I set out, but this time somewhat less aimlessly for the thought had come to me to follow the seashore again but this time to discover what lay to the south.
I will not delve deeply into this journey, though it was one of the longest of my life. The maps of the world that Master Elrond keeps in Rivendell are marvelously detailed when it comes to the north and west of Middle Earth, but all seem to trail off into emptiness along the edges. Suffice to say that while the maps may end, the world is indeed much wider than those parchments would lead one to believe.
Again, there were new kinds of animals, birds and creatures great and small to learn the ways of. There were rivers and creeks to follow, deep pools to ponder, and trees, bushes and grasses the likes of which I had not seen before. All called for my consideration and the time passed by largely unnoticed on my part. Then, suddenly, everything changed.
