Today was quite interesting. In several ways I'd say.
We made our way to a meeting place to join again lord Veryacano who was apparently scouting to... Cross a river again. I am sincerely hoping that we will not have to swim, for my bag is not entirely waterproof. Only the bag around my flute is and that will not protect the whole content of my bag and I do not plan to lose what healing herbs I have nor the bandages nor... Food. Again.
We found strange bears, Uruks on horses, a capital city looking deserted but for a few guards... An orcish camp with supplies that looked like they had been taken from men. We at least found food and wine, and tissue to make new bandages from. I took some bread from that supply of food, but if we have to swim to cross a river again it will be lost and I would quite like not to lose every kind of food I have in so short a time !
And lord Veryacano surprised me. He made us stay away from human settlements, orc camps and a human patrol. He could have use them to try and find that rider he wanted to see, and instead he choose discretion, which I really appreciated.
When we stopped, there was already at least one bottle of wine gone, due to Parnard and Estarfin. My, when there is wine involved...
As we stopped, the bottles were passed to everyone and we toasted to our current luck. Well, when I say we, I should probably say they. I didn't accept the wine. I usually don't enjoy human-made wine and I found it better to simply stick to drinking water until... A later date.
Parnard got it into his head that I should drink with them though. As he said it is bad luck to not drink on a toast. Well, I usually don't join toasts and I usually do not suffer from ill luck. Though, I am usually providing entertainment with music so I am usually little better than furniture for the people when they are drinking which I admit is fine with me.
Before Parnard and Estarfin's insistence, I decided to go and try to find healing supply sooner than I planned to, to have a reason not to drink that they could not refuse. And thanks the Valar, lord Veryacano agreed it was a good idea to get more supply while we were resting there.
When I came back to the group, they were still drinking, and apparently talking about lady Nirhen. Parnard gave me the tissue he cut into bandages, for which I am thankful.
I found some roots which, once treated, would serve as pain relief. And some herbs which I'll prepare once they will have dried a little at least when I have the time. If I find the time.
And then even as I was busy with my healing supply I did something utterly stupid :
In a way I feel sorry for lord Veryacano, because, the way we were sitting, and the way we were talking looked a lot like he was on trial. Which was not the case, and I have to admit that I did take part in it. Though I mostly pointed out that if lady Nirhen was dangerous, she at least was honest, contrary to some of us, and that I shared her belief about the danger in having so much trust in the men when we meet them.
I don't mind humans, when I live in a place where we live all together, or when they happen to come into the valley. But I am particularly suspicious of them when I am in one of their territory, and more so if they are at war already and are wary of strangers.
Parnard's immediate reaction of defense to what I was saying was a clear indicator that he thought I was accusing everyone but me, and the irony of it is that he wasn't even concerned by it for I always saw him painfully honest with everyone here.
And besides, I would have really little room to talk if I was to pass judgment on anyone here. I know I have as many faults as any of them.
Or more for I didn't speak against the way lady Nirhen treated the few prisoners we had, and I didn't care. I am a healer and I still don't care.
I care about the way we, of our group, are treated. I care about those who help us. And yet I have no problem with torture when it comes to one who would not hesitate to attack us or prevent us from achieving our goal.
I guess I have double standard, and that is definitively not a quality. So... Yes, I am no better than anyone here. Maybe more honest with them as I don't hesitate to speak up. Though I am beginning to wonder if I should not shut up sometimes. Lord Veryacano will soon have more than enough of having me speaking against some of his decisions so openly.
Though I finally found the courage, or utter stupidity, I still don't know and I guess I will see, to tell him that if I were to meet lady Nirhen out there and she needed my skills, I would offer her my services. I do not know his opinion on that matter as he didn't answer me. Though I guess what he thinks on that subject would not change the situation, so...
Now lord Veryacano went a little farther away, probably to escape any try to keep the conversation going. Or simply to have some peace from us, and everyone has fallen silent again.
I certainly hope that this kind of discussion will not come up again. And I know that next time I will not take part in it. There is only us and we can count only on us here. What we did, lord Estarfin and I, was highly dangerous or at least utterly stupid.
Showing so clearly defiance against lord Veryacano is the best way to have everyone doubt our actions next time we need to obey him, and that is the best way to get all or some of us killed.
I should have think of it earlier, but having people giving lady Nirhen all the faults of the world like they never did any wrong was just a bit too much. Besides, she contributed to keep everyone of us alive until now. It is unfair to forget what she did for us on the basis that she disobeyed lord Veryacano's order.
No, I do not approve of it, and neither do I approve the way she destroyed a village and killed humans, but what lord Veryacano said : 'A good act will not wash over the bad. Never forget' goes the other way around too, I think.
