Oh, my friend, do you know how insane I have become? I have slowly lost what little sanity I had. You know, it was not that long ago that I was not able to watch a man die and not feel the sudden pain of sorrow. However, when Hyrien killed Rycroft in the middle of Dawn Hall, I literally shrugged and moved on. Who is this woman who goes by the name Nimeway? She is not the Nimeway I remembered. Not only am I viewing death as just another day, but I am keeping secrets and lies from the few I consider friends. I am also being harsh to the people I am trying to help; the tenderness that defined me is slowly melting away. And yet I am still haunted at nights by the deaths that were on my hands. I am haunted by the many who have abandoned me. And above all, I am haunted by the pain my stupidity has caused.
I bought an office for a place to escape. When Ross and my child comes, I do not want all of my medicines and poisons around the house and in the child's reach. You know, Ross came up with a name for if the child is a male, though I cannot recall it. I suppose I should learn the name in case it becomes the name my child goes by. It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that there is another human growing inside of me. And yet, only a handful of people know this fact. I suppose I will have to tell the rest soon, but for now, it is my little secret.
