Why do I wallow in self pity so much? It makes no sense to me. Yes, bad things have happened to me over my years and I have made mistakes, but I should be happy seeing all the good in my life at this point. I have a sister who is always there if I so need, I have friends, I have a home with someone I have come to love, I even have a mother even though I sometimes wish her to leave me be. Some people have nothing, not even a friend. So why am I not content? Why do the same two nightmares haunt me every night? Whether it is the dark empty field with people I cannot reach, or the image of the man dying before me. Can I not have peace in my mind? I believe that everything happens for a reason, but why does it still hurt? Why are there more people with sorrow rather than true joy? Even when I feel the safety of Ross's presence, I still feel pain and fear. How weak am I?
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Entry 8
Submitted by Nimeway on December 16th, 2013
