The dusk had arrived and Elloen was camping with the others at the Redhorn gate. He looked at his companions while he laid himself down, waiting for the sleep to arrive.
He looked at Rainith and her bare feet, which now were at the level of his eyes. A faint smile got in his lips because she was always thus which made her seem very casual to him, but now they were at the root of Caradhras, and she would have to lay her feet on the snow. Elloen felt a bit silly that he didn't bring any spare pair of shoes.
He turned his head around and saw Estarfin. Elloen was surprised of him, to say the least. At first he seemed uptight and quite uncivil with his remark of the Dwarves at Echad Eregion. But when the company arrived at the ruins of Minas Elendur, everything changed. All of a sudden he was vulnerable and absent minded, not himself at all. No matter how uptight or uncivil, Elloen would not have him change like this and get hurt. The more the company stays as themselves, the better.
Elloen saw Danel next. He was with her when she discovered that Estarfin was behaving strangely. With Danel, Elloen tried his best to reassure him to return to the present. But he discovered that whatever words he used, Estarfin would only hear the ones that could be twisted for some dark purpose. But finally when they had gone far enough from the ruins, Danel suggested Elloen to offer him some of the tea that was left from Echad Eregion.
This was the very same tea that Elloen boiled there to share it with others, along with some sweet honey cakes from Imladris. He wanted to do this because he could not call Eregion his home any longer, not until he had shared a meal with Vanimar, which was his new family. The herbs he had picked were fresh and healthy, made of the living joy of Eregion instead of it's deserted darkness. Perhaps that is why it had some qualities to vanish the dark memories, or at least postpone them. But Estarfin had drinked none of it, as all the others had.
Elloen handed him the flask of tea back at Redhorn gate and discovered Estarfin returning as himself – rather grumpy, but that was all the better, because it truly was him. Elloen was now glad, but felt strange to care for such a character, all of a sudden. He started to wonder how much Estarfin would remember of his efforts, but realized that the darkness that Estarfin had experienced might have blinded him too much. But he wouldn't say anything about it for now, and he would let things go as they will.
Parnard had been with them all along, of course, and he was the first one to see what was happening to Estarfin. Strange companion or not, he had at least proved useful, and for Elloen that was enough. Perhaps Parnard had dared to rescue Estarfin, because the sorrows of this land did not affect him personally. ”It is good that we are different”, he thought to himself.
Belegos was away somewhere, and Elloen missed his company. The more untroubled minds there was, the better it would be for all.
Elloen remembered that Estarfin had looked at his clothing with a face of disapproval. Indeed his robe and cloak were worn now, but he did not mind. In Caras Galadhon he would probably get something new to wear. Perhaps he was guilty of vanity sometimes, being used to the peace of Imladris too long, but did not feel too much sorrow if he lost some of his fine raiments. He knew that such is the price of some errands, and things could always be rebuilt.
Yet he started to think about the First Age brooch of his father Fearáto, his pendant from Elvealin, and the gift of Feamiril, Elvealin's father, his uncle. ”Maybe if I get someone from Lórien to send the gift and brooch to Rivendell, I risk less to lose them”, he thought, ”but I would rather keep Elvealin's pendant to stop my spirit from wavering”, and decided to keep it hidden under his robe.
”Why do I think this though? Does something else wait for me, or am I needed elsewhere?”, he thought on, but could not find the answer to his feelings yet. He felt dreams taking him over.
