There are times when I do like an ale now and then. However, I am not one to get drunk. Nor do I like drunken idiots. Unfortunately, some friends happen to become those drunken idiots when they are in the pony. So here are MY drinking rules.
1. Do not drink more than 2 glasses of any liquor
2. Always have vinegar and herbs. (The foulest smelling ones you can find.)
3. Smelling salts... they are a must.
4. Be on good terms with the barkeep.
There are times when I am challenged to a drinking game. Now, I'm a sensible Eorlinga, I can never refuse a drinking game. But I cannot allow myself to get stupidly drunk, nor can I lose. So I win... Some might call it cheating, but I say its usuing my head.
Rules:
1. Be well acquainted with the barkeep.
2. Make sure that barkeep remembers you do not drink.
3. Each drink you are given must contain 1 part liquor, 3 parts water. (Thus, Four pints equal one pint, but they are so diluted it really is more.)
4. Make sure to have a prearranged signal with the barkeep.
5. Use the signal to have the barkeep switch out your opponents drink with vinegar, before they fall on the floor preferably.
6. While opponent is distracted, apply a mask over their face. This mask should have a paste made from your foul smelling herbs. It will either sober them senseless, or knock them out.
7. If he is knocked out by the scent, smelling salts will wake him, and he'll be rather sober when he wakes, enough to walk to a room. Might be a good idea to help him nonetheless.
8. When tending to your drunken idiot, do not be afraid to be harsh. Make your drunk know that you are in charge.
