With nobody around to comfort my grief and soothe the pain I feel in my heart and my body, I carry a faint hope this diary will help shoulder my discomforts. When time offers itself to me, I will write my story here, so that it too shall know the truth about me, and my experiences.
My earliest memory was as a child, coming into the main room, seeking my mother, for I was an innocent child back then. Wanting to play and hear many gentle, loving words, of which I did not understand. The fireplace was lit as was normal, the flames filling the room with a nice warmth. I remember entering, as I was not at all old, my only wish was to lie on the big soft bear rug, for I believe I was very fond of it. The room itself as i remember it, was not at all very big, nor was it too small. To me at the time, it was a part of the small world which I lived in, limited by the four walls of the house, with the windows to peer out to a world on the other side, filled with large open floors of green, and tall things which swayed gently in the wind. Behind the rocking chair, which my father used to always sit in, before he left on his big journey, I saw something strange. Normally I would only see the chair, and remember the warm, loving face that always smiled. Of my father that cradled me gently in his arms, swaying me gently back and forth until my eyes closed and I drifted off into sleep. No longer.
With my small feet I walked over to the chair, and found my mother there, laying on the floor. Around her, laid a great many strange things, which I had no memory of seeing before. Oddly shaped, and from an opening spilled a strangely coloured liquid. "Mama" I said, doing my best to utter the words I had so many times heard. Nothing happened. "Mama" I tried again, abit louder this time, still no response. Taking hold of her shoulders, and using them to support myself, I tried to move her, my great effort only but a simple nudge. And still nothing happened. I let go and walked around her, for she were facing away from me. It was such a strange face that met me. Many a time I had seen my mother as she comforted and cradled me, her eyes clearly wet. Many a time her tears welled up and rolled down her cheeks, shimmering from the light of the fireplace. I would touch a tear and wipe it away and give my best smile to my mother. She would only smile even sadder, and let even more tears come forth. This time, my mothers face, was one of peace. She seemed asleep. Little did I know it would be eternal. "Mama?" I said to her. But nothing happened still. I figured maybe she were just asleep, and that if i laid down together with her, she would soon enough wake up, and be very happy I were there with her. So i laid down next to her, snuggling as close as I could get... Closing my eyes, I looked forward to my mommy waking up, and play with me and whisper me words of comfort...
