My training is progressing further, and the days turn lighter. The trees and flowers are in full blossom, the air I breath has a sweet scent, it makes me feel live and quite content.... In these recent days I have been working a lot on self-discipline. Twice a day I have worked on my Stamina and twice a day I have worked hard with my mental and physical strength.
I also had time recently to talk to Istuir..
Usually the more I get to know a person, the more I understand, the more comfortable and safe I feel. Like how I feel with Alfiriel, my fellow drill maiden. She has become a very good support and a friend joining the Herth for the same reasons I did.
But Istuir?.. He puzzles me. The more I get to know him, the more questions he leaves me with. I wanted to talk to him about how he prepares himself mentally for a battle. How he is able to put on a war-mask and take it off, but he could not answer, he said he did not often have to prepare mentally. So it seems it comes naturally for him and when he fights he shows little mercy to his foes..
I did not understand, surely he must prepare? Is he mentally prepared all the time? Perhaps he thinks of his family that he has to defend? I know for certain he is fierce on the battlefield so he must focus on something, to perhaps help overcome any fear?
I feel he did not help me much with this, I am not the same person as him, I do not have this fire inside as he has, I struggle every time I face a dangerous situation when I have to protect myself. I do think of other ways to avoid the situation then defeat. Istuir, he would not think, he would just do! To protect and defend.. Perhaps I should persist and ask again?
Our last Drill I face another challenge. We had to work in a team, and I had to act wounded to put a final test on our healer Elvea. She did a wonderful job, but I felt uncomfortable to give her such hard time. But I knew it was for her good that she was pushed to her limits, so I tried to be strong, and I did what I could to immerse in to state as a wounded. Alfiriel helped out to keep the road safe for us. I believe the exercise was to test the three of us, to see how we would act and respond under pressure and how we would cooperate as a team. The test was not so much about our individually skills I think, but more as a test if we really were a cohesive unit thinking of one another, I think that was our Mentor Aearandir's goal.
We did well! I knew Elvea was tired, and I felt sorry for her. But it ended with laughter and it raised our spirit. I also made sure to tell her I would have felt safe, if I really were wounded and she had to take care of me.
After the drill we were off duty. Hîr Curugirion, the leader of the Herth came and gave us some inspiring words and was full of praise. I was so proud that he did so. Then he gave us all the grand news that he considered us ready for advanced training, that we were to become a part of the Mithdirith and be gifted the armour of the flower. The blue armour I associate with Loth-I-Lonnath, I remember many times I saw them in that armour when they patrolled the woods in a line. I admired them from that day, and now I am about to be one of them....
