Hello again, my diary. You are nothing but a simple, leather-bound book, and yet I cannot help but look to you for support. I would like to thank you in advance.
Nothing is simple. Everything that happens to me seems to always end in shock and pain.
While I told Garnold that I could not marry him because of my studies as a scholar, I agreed that we could remain friends...
...today, as I was conversing with a gentleman in the Prancing Pony, Garnold approached, stated a few words of not caring what anyone thinks of him, and then kissed me!
Perhaps it is that I overreacted by pushing him away, but I did. I don't want to love anyone while I'm in Bree. I can't afford being known for who I really am... and I know that the only reason I feel this, is because I am afraid. I don't want people to see how utterly foolish I really am.
I met with Regineth lately, also... another disaster. I am not a person to be trusted, in her eyes, simply because of my age. I am considered an underdeveloped child to her, it seems... I have all the wisdom I shall need for making reliable decisions, and I am already matured in all ways, both physically and mentally. She does not trust my mentor, Kalesiar, either... If this is how she will continue to act, I am unsure if I will continue to call her my sister. Kalesiar is who I can speak with the most openly... and she wishes to terminate the mentor-apprentice relationship we have. I won't have it! I do not care if I am being selfish, but with all the stress and tension that has been developing since I left home, I am not going to be bothered with such! Perhaps I ought leave Bree and not inform anyone of where I have ventured to... I would be quite safe. I would not mind living on the bank of some water-source... I long to visit places like Nen Harn and Evendim Lake... even Starmere Lake seems extremely appealing. Perhaps I can journey to one and see which I would prefer to live by.
I am sorry if my thoughts seem distorted and unnatural, but it seems it is very late and I am growing weary of staying awake through the impossible day I had with Garnold. Thank you for listening (though you have no way of hearing me).
~Laliniel Heniameleth
