Another day breaks over the rooftops over the houses in Thamas Lorn. The flower-ranks on the houses are glittering in the sunrise, it is dawn, and I am already outside. The cool wind and the pristine air is gentle on my face, the sign of another beautiful day. I am already running towards the woods north of Thamas Lorn, not far from Hunter's Lodge.. another new day, another day to work on my stamina and my strength. It is so refreshing, and it feels enormously good to feel able to do this even if its hard work and requires a lot of my time. I am not carrying any weapons, nor am I focused on tracking. I need to run until my feet and legs cannot carry me anymore.....
It is already been week since I joined the Herth, a new purpose, a new family. I feel this is the place I want to be, I feel it is what I am called to do until the day we hear the call to leave these lands. For too long I have been wandering in the woods restless, and in naive dreams to travel Eriador which made me uneasy. I now have new friends and dreams but these past weeks have been tougher than the previous decade. I feel at home...But it is hard work, it really is. There is no room for restless thoughts and being uncertain. So aware am I of the need for the drill we endure in training which will ready my heart for the dread of battle. I know I have a lot of work to do with my strength both physically and mentally. But I sense most of the challenge will be in my mind.
I do not like to face my foe eye to eye. It is hard to determine whether you should move on, or defeat it... I do not feel is up to me to determine who shall live, who shall not. But I also try to remember these creatures are not here for good reasons, they have come to disturb peace, many are evil minded. I must think of my family and the woods I love. Would I want them to attack it? Would I want them to slay the ones I love? No! I have to learn to be calm, not cold. But calm. Aearandir taught me to think of it as a war-mask to put on. Find a reason to stay calm and a purpose why. The hardest part is not to put on this mask, but perhaps take it off after a battle. I do not know what that means, but I guess it is easy to be consumed by the horrors of war. None find joy in fighting and killing, no one feels joy to be a part of a war. But I want to be a guard. This is what I have to do! I want to be a part of defending my home, my family, those I love...
I have spoken to Istuir often and have heard rumors of how he is in battle, his ferocity and ruthless efficiency is often so strong that his shield brothers and sisters step back and his foes display a deep dread. I have yet to see it, and I hope it won't change my view of him; he has been a close friend and always kind towards me. Perhaps I could learn some of his techniques mentally; maybe it would be easier for me to face the wrath of the War? Perhaps it would be easier for me to be mentally prepared even if I do not know it will help. I think I will speak to him later...
Right now, I will have a break, I have already ran as far north as I dare. Better to be wise and not tread in unknown places..
