*On the first page of the journal is a small note asking the reader to go to the final page before reading the rest of the book.*
By the time this journal reaches you, I should be long gone. In the hopes that you have done as I asked and turned to this page first, I shall summarise recent events.
Aakusti returned with me from Forochel, having failed his task there and seeking another way to complete it via the hiring of mercenaries. All went well enough for a short time, but then arguments ensued. I walked away, telling him that he was on his own now and I would offer no further aid, making it clear that I had no wish to see or speak with him again. His response was to follow me, drug, bind and gag me, then carry me against my will to Aughaire. I made several unsuccessful attempts to escape both him and my captivity here.
My continued defiance of both the cheifs will and Aakusti, along with my most recent attempt to get away, has resulted in the anger of the chief and, presumably, his decision that I am more trouble than I am worth. As a result, I have been sentenced to death in as cowardly a manner as possible. Rather than carry out this punishment with their own hands, they have tattooed parts of my body with signs that I come from the Gallorg and will, on the morrow, send me out into Fasach Larran sans clothing and weapons. It is their hope that the Duvardain will finish me, if the wargs and hill-beasts do not find me first.
I have survived many terrible situations in the past, but I believe this one may be beyond my skill. I am sickened from the toxins in my blood and weak through lack of food and water. Even were that not so, without means to defend myself I am almost helpless. Still, I do not regret this. I will die as free woman; that truth is a precious one.
I ask that you seek no revenge for this act, Cyfier. I hold no animosity toward these people for what it is they do and it is my wish that you do not either. I lived a life free of the self-destructive poisons of vengeance, choosing to forgive instead of allowing others to taint my spirit with their hatred. Please, do not destroy my legacy by harming others in my name.
I would take it as a kindness if you would inform Blodwynn, Seaver, Davick, Lustwyn and Vaeshiva what has happened to me. They should know that I am gone but that my affection for them remains.
As I face my final day upon this world, I take comfort in knowing that it will finally be over. I will be truly free for the first time; free of the shadows, free of the pain, free of the voices and of my memories. I will never again be required to carry these burdens and that is a blessing. I am rather looking forward to it.
In the years to come, remember the brief time we shared in friendship. Remember that single kiss and the charm I made for you. Hold these things close to your heart and smile for me. Know that my love walks with you, Cyfier, wherever you may go. Let these things guide the way to a better future for you; one full of joy and happiness.
Perhaps we will meet again in the realm beyond worlds. If there truly is such a thing, then I shall await your arrival, although I will pray that it will not come soon.
Farewell my love, but not goodbye.
Ilaru.
