A Decade passed

It has been ten long years since I last put pen to paper, since I watched Hardoleth fall and felt the world twist beneath me. I left the Dawn shortly after that entry, wandering, fighting, surviving—but never truly living. The elves once called allies, damn the lot of them..the very ones I might have trusted with my life, betrayed me without mercy, leaving scars deeper than any blade could carve. I became a shadow of myself, striking fear wherever I went, instilling terror in the hearts of those who dared cross me, yet finding no solace in the blood or coin I amassed. I....I have to change, this cannot be my end..not yet.
The road was long, ardous...I forget more and more each day...so many stories that can never be told.

 My path has now brought me back to Bree, to the streets I once knew, yet everything is both familiar and altered. I see their shapes, their expressions, but the details elude me as if memory itself conspires to keep me apart from the life I once held. I feel broken, fractured by years of anger, loss, and solitude. I can feel myself getting older every day, my memory tricks me, makes me believe I see those I can never see again...and yet.  

And yet… something stirs. On the 5th of Winterfilth, I met Benjenn, a Beorning man who was born and raised near my old home in Dale. His presence reminded me of simpler days, of trust and companionship. Over food and drink, we spoke as men unburdened, and for the first time in a decade, I felt the faint spark of connection, the fragile hope that one might still find someone worthy of trust. I resolved then to step forward, to try again, to fight not solely for gold or for the hollow satisfaction of fear, but alongside those who might yet matter.  

By the 8th of Winterfilth, I found myself among others—mercenaries, hardened and wary, or young and unburdend they are an odd bunch—but there was something in the way they moved, in the familiarity of their manner, that tugged at a part of me I feared i had lost for good. Yet it was different; these faces, these people, could never be what I once knew. Could I belong among them, or am I too old, too damaged, too worn by betrayal to ever find a place? Questions hang over me like a storm, unanswered, and mayhaps they always will.  

Still, I will walk this path. I have joined the East Road Company, but still I will remain near Benjenn, the one man I feel I might truly trust. i find myself surrounded now by those familiar yet unknown, I feel the faintest possibility of belonging. but I do not yet know if I will find it, or if I even deserve it, but I will try. I must try.
For gold must be made, oaths must be kept, and even a man broken beyond measure can seek purpose again. The past is heavy, this world still unkind, yet even in this shadow, this fog in my mind, there remains the smallest glimmer of something worth defending.

By Bone or Blood, I will forge this path. mark these very words unto my soul. I will carry this legacy, until I lie broken on the field smiling at the sky.

Sun on your back he said, I rather face it as I march down this path.