"Oh no! I couldn't make it yesterday!"
Under too much intensity from Mordor's shadow on her life, Tacita had been bed ridden in terror for the next many, many hours. Upon rushing downstairs to catch her and apologize, she could not find the Lossoth. Upon asking a short bookworm about her absence, she quickly moved towards conversations of books, stars, and lore with the female, Cesistya.
They both established a love for knowledge and lore, though they seemed to come from different angles.
Tacita revealed that she wanted to learn, through history, lore, and the natural world, what her true place was. She did not reveal this relation of lore with the brainwashing and dark teachings of Mordor and the Black Numenoreans, though this was the driving factor in her getting history from the perspective of the Free Peoples.
Cesistya tilted her head, "You are not supposed to be anything. None of us are. We are guided by our hearts, not by Fate."
Tacita's face contorted in confusion, "But-but if you were told your whole life to do this, or be that, then you finally broke free and have not a clue. I'm free, but I don't know what purpose to strive for with that freedom."
Perhaps… she had revealed too much. Yet, she was desperate.
Tacita looked down, into her lap. Her dark hair covered her face. So many memories flooded her. The lush farmlands of Nurn, and its beautiful sea - tainted and enslaved by Mordor's dark forces. The brutal world of the volcanic, cold Gorgoroth, where too many had been oppressed, and she had been taught to oppress others under a dark name, despite being a slave herself. She remembered Ilthilien, she remembered the Gondorean she met who taught her what this "Freedom" was, and her desire to seek it. She remembered faking her own death, taking on a new name, and learning what she could from Gondorean archives before running… running… running away from the looming shadows of the Black Gate, of Orodruin. She had kept running, running until she finally tired here, in Bree-land.
She remembered that deep, sweet desire that pushed her… the desire for freedom, the desire for life, the desire for change.
"I... I want life. I want to see life, feel life, and save life. I'm tired of destruction, of and choking cages. I..."
She shook her head in dismay.
Cesistya responded, "... there are several healers in Bree that I know of... b-but I do not see the harm in one more. Ah, i-if such a station would suit you."
Tacita looked up, tears in her eyes, "Healer?"
Cesistya smiled warmly, "One of many vocations for one who wishes to preserve life. Th-though, you might also wish to be a teacher, or a preserver of lore, or a crafts-woman. Where do your skills lie?"
Tacita scoffed, irony shining over her face as she looked away with sad amusement, "I love animals, I love plants. I love studying, and I love exploring. Yet... I guess, I suppose you could say I was birthed from chaos." Understanding that she must have been revealing too much, she back pedaled, :I don't remember much from my life before Gondor, but I remember this... this great darkness..."
Tacita continued, "Honestly, I'm not sure I have the skills. I studied herbs for my exploration, but that is all. I'm just some lonely hermit." she laughed softly, sadly.
Cesistya seemed confused. "I... I see... well, wh-what skills do you have, then?"
Tacita continued to avoid eye contact, looking towards the campfire. "I guess I'm good at fighting. But I don't like fighting."
Cesistya was thoughtful, "Mm... with a love of animals and plants and study... it must follow that you know a great deal about them... a-and if you are fond of exploring... there is always a need for expert trackers. Perhaps you might offer your services as a guide and guard for traders and merchants?"
Tacita smiled, wiping her tears. "Perhaps... I would need to study more, however. I hardly know anything about Bree."
Cesistya continued, "Ah, well, th-there is a fine Archive, a-and there are many journals and diaries of hunters and farmers that will surely allow you to familiarize yourself with local plants and animals. Th-though, as Spring approaches, it is a very important time to begin a bit of wandering, s-so that you might observe their growth from the beginning."
Tacita nodded, "I suppose, this gives me reason to stay in Bree for a while. Well, Ris actually promised to show me the archives, but I missed her, and I'm sorry for it. Thank you, uh- what is your name?"
Cesistya bowed politely, "Cesistya, at your service, Miss...?"
"Tacita." Tacita responded, finally making determined eye contact, "Tacita Icewold."
Cesistya responded, "It is very nice to make your acquaintance, Miss Tacita. Ah, but how fares Gondor? I-it has been quite a count of years since I visited, and some time ere I have heard news."
They continued speaking on, as the night rolled on in Bree. Tacita finally seemed to figure out what she was supposed to be doing - somewhat…
